Left Behind
by MacKynzie62
Summary: AU--Ryan' mom takes him out of the Cohen household before the Casino Party and proceeds to ditch him again
1. Dumped

Left Behind  
  
Author: MacKynzie  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summary: AU-- Ryan's mom takes him away from the Cohens before the Casino Party happens and then proceeds to ditch him again.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing them. I promise to return them washed and waxed!  
  
****  
  
"Ugh, I wish I was dead."   
  
Ryan groaned. Had he just said that out loud? Guess that means I'm not dead. Unfortunately.  
  
He groaned again, slowly awakening, his body screaming in agony. He cracked his eyelids opens, suddenly aware of the rain drops assailing his face. Ryan opened his eyes fully, rudely jolted by a horn blaring. It shot through his brain, helping to clear the cobwebs.  
  
He hurt. He hurt all over. His head, his arms, his legs, his chest, his stomach. But most of all his head. Ryan supposed this was what is felt like to have a timber spike jutting out of your forehead.  
  
He carefully reached up and felt the offending area. No spike. Just blood. Ryan looked at his arm as a dart of pain ran through it. It hurt.   
  
Ryan glanced up as a couple walked by. He was in an alley, next to a party store. A gas station blinked from across the street. He hoped there would be a bathroom he could use.  
  
He very carefully maneuvered his body to a somewhat sitting position. Taking a deep breath, which hurt, he slowly stood up. Very slowly. It still hurt.  
  
Ryan gently moved his neck, all clear. He stood up straighter and cracked his back. That hurt too.  
  
Looking down, he searched the ground. For what? There was something missing, he just didn't know what. Ryan shook his head, bad move. A lightning bolt darted through it. He had this strange notion that there should be something near him. Suddenly it him. My bike! No, not his bike! Where was it? He searched the ground, almost frantically. It was nowhere in sight. He distinctly remembered them throwing it on the ground after they'd tossed him out. Not my bike!  
  
But it was gone, stolen. Well, there was nothing he could do about it now. Another thought struck him. His backpack! Please, God, not my backpack, too. He searched again. There! It was partially hidden underneath cardboard, it's dark shape virtually invisible to someone not looking for it. He picked it up and checked it. All the contents were there, what little there was.   
  
Taking another deep breath, he put it on his back and started across the street, vaguely wondering what day it was. When had he been dumped there? Monday? Tuesday? He reached the gas station and walked around the side, searching for a bathroom. There. Ryan knocked on the door, no answer. He turned the knob and opened the door. Immediately, the stench of urine and vomit assailed him. Wrinkling his nose, he flipped the light switch, praying that it worked. It did, just barely.  
  
The mirror was grimy and he could barely make out his face. Ryan wiped the glass off with his sleeve. The mirror was cracked, but even that couldn't hide how scary his face looked. Ryan reached up and touched his cheek, looking at the huge black and blue bruise that seemed to dominate the whole side of his face. He moved the hair off his forehead, there was a gash, crusty with blood and dirt.  
  
Slowly, Ryan took off his jacket and backpack, he noticed the dark hand print bruise that encircled his left wrist. There was a strange hue to his forearm. He didn't think it was broken, though. He gently lifted his shirt up and clinically examined his torso. It was covered in bruises, they all appeared to be new, but at least a day or two old.  
  
He didn't think there was anything wrong with his legs and he was too tired to check anyways. There was a dirty towel laying near the sink. Ryan mentally shrugged, he supposed it was better than nothing. He put his jacket and backpack back on and wet the towel, trying to rinse the grim off of it. Ryan very carefully wiped his face. The dirt and blood came off, but the bruises stayed. They always did, even when they were physically gone.  
  
He cupped his hands and drank from the faucet, grateful for the cool water on his parched throat. He looked in the mirror again, his distorted and cracked image staring back at him. And laughing. That seemed to sum up the whole of his life. Distorted and cracked.   
  
He sighed.   
  
****  
  
The party store was open. Party stores were always open because there were always people to party. He had no money in his pockets, it was liberated when they dumped him.   
  
Ryan looked up, seeing a man coming towards him. He had a suit on and Ryan briefly wondered what he was doing in this neighborhood. Suits usually put their wallets in their breast pockets, mostly on the left side. The trench coat he was wearing wouldn't be a problem, not for Ryan anyways. He was closer now and Ryan stepped onto the sidewalk walking towards him. He put his head down, feeling a brief pang at how quickly he slipped back into that mode. The mark was talking on his phone, making Ryan's job much easier. They were only a few feet apart, Ryan moved into his side of the walkway. And then they were upon each other. He bumped into him just slightly, Ryan's hand darting into his pocket with lightning speed.   
  
"Hey, watch it!" He said loudly, turning.  
  
Ryan mumbled a barely audible apology and kept on walking. He heard no more shouts. The mark hadn't noticed. They rarely did.  
  
Unfortunately for the suits of the world, Ryan was very good at borrowing wallets. He crossed the street, intent on going back to the party store. Ryan needed tobacco so badly right now, he was almost drooling.  
  
Ryan checked the wallet. Thank God. He was afraid the suit wouldn't have any cash, considering the area. But he did. 50 bucks. Not bad, if he crunched he could stretch it for a week, maybe two. Ryan picked out the cash and tossed the wallet near the steps of an apartment building. When he had first started, he used to turn the wallets in, sans the cash. That became too much of a bother though. Ryan shook his head. He swore he was going to Hell in a hand basket.  
  
He finally came to the party store and went in. It was empty except for the cashier and a guy who looked like he lived in a dumpster was filling out a lotto sheet. The sign read that there was a $50 million dollar jackpot there for the taking. Ryan's eyes settled below that. Today was Wednesday. The sign proclaimed the jackpot would go up tomorrow. God, Wednesday. It had been almost two weeks since his mom ripped him out of the Cohen household. Two weeks, it felt like two years.  
  
The old Indian at the counter gave Ryan the eye, but he just ignored it and asked for a pack of smokes. He got the cheapest ones they had, he was trying to conserve money after all. If the guy thought Ryan was under 18, he didn't care, he just got them and rang them up.   
  
"2.98."   
  
Ryan pulled out his new wad and handed him a twenty. A thought occurred to him. Ryan felt his pockets. Sure enough, the comforting weight of his lighter was gone. Was nothing sacred? He picked one out of a display and set it on the counter. The clerk handed him his change. $45.02 left to spend.   
  
Ryan walked out. Impatient, he ripped the packaging off. Ryan pulled one out and promptly lit it. Ahhh. The poison filled his lungs and he didn't think he'd ever tasted anything sweeter.  
  
Two weeks. How could it only have been two weeks? He'd promised Seth he would call him. Seth said a week at the latest. Ryan wondered if he cared, or if he was worried that it had been two. He probably was. Ryan smiled slightly at the thought.  
  
The clock in the store had read 11:36 p.m. It probably wasn't too late to call. Seth rarely went to bed before 1:00 a.m. Ryan spied a pay phone down the street.  
  
Ryan went back into the party store and asked for some quarters. The clerk barely acknowledged him. He handed them to Ryan and he went out, the homeless guy was still filling out his sheet.  
  
Ryan headed in the direction of the payphone, smoking the much needed cigarette. It was still raining, but it was more of a drizzle. He zipped up his jacket, trying to ward off the chill. Ryan reached the phone, it was dirty, but it would work.  
  
Ryan dialed the number from memory and fervently hoped that Seth would answer.  
  
"Hello." He did.  
  
"Hey, man. It's Ryan."  
  
"I know, wow …well, what's up? It's been like, what, two weeks now? Where you been? My parents have been worried." Seth said in one breath. To say he was surprised would be an understatement. He had been beginning to doubt that Ryan would ever call.  
  
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I just…there wasn't really time before." Ryan said rather lamely.   
  
"No time, huh?" Seth didn't buy it, but he let it go. "So, where you at? How's it going?"  
  
"Uh, well, it's going. I'm staying around." Ryan bit his tongue, hoping Seth wouldn't pick up on his little slip.  
  
"You're staying around? Where's your -- ?" Seth noticed it right away.  
  
"We're staying around." Ryan broke in quickly. Seth still didn't buy it. Ryan's voice was hoarse and there was a strange note he hadn't heard before.   
  
"Where's your mom, Ryan?" He asked seriously.  
  
"She's here…she's just, uh, sleeping." Ryan hit his hand on his forehead at the idiot thing he had just blurted. Of course Seth would know that he was calling from a payphone. Ryan mentally cursed himself and took another drag from his cigarette.  
  
"Sleeping? Ryan, I know you're calling from a payphone. It's called the miracle of Caller ID. Where is she, really? Are you okay?" The concern in Seth's voice was unmistakable and for a second it was comforting to know someone did care.   
  
Ryan shook himself out of it and shoved aside Seth's concern.  
  
"Seth, really, I'm okay. Everything's peachy." Ryan knew he was laying it on a little thick, but he just wanted this conversation over.  
  
Seth sensed Ryan's unease and eagerness to get off the phone.   
  
"Ryan, wait. Are you nearby? Maybe I could meet you, we could go out to lunch tomorrow, or something."  
  
"I don't know, Seth." Ryan knew that would be a bad idea The chances were way too high that he would slip and admit that she was gone and that he really had no idea what he was going to do. But for some reason, Ryan just couldn't bring himself to say no.   
  
"Come on, it'll be fun. We'll go buy the pier again, it'll be great."  
  
Ryan sighed and Seth heard what he guessed was Ryan lighting a cigarette.  
  
  
  
"I guess. But not the pier. There's a Coney Island on Gertie and Jamison in Chino. If you don't mind slumming it, that is."  
  
"What? No, that'd be great. I'll be there. How about 11:00?" Seth exclaimed, happy and surprised that Ryan had agreed.  
  
"How about Marissa? I know she'd love to come and see you." Maybe that had been pushing it. Ryan sighed again.  
  
Ah, Marissa. She was still a bit of a sore spot. Ryan had never said goodbye to her. Him and his mom had come back from shopping, and she'd said it was high time that the two of them got out of there. Kirsten had invited them to the casino party, but his Mom refused and then they left. Just like that.   
  
Ryan frowned, thinking. She had looked sad and worried, Mrs. Cohen, that is. Like she really wanted them to stay. Mr. Cohen had too, insisting they would still see each other. Seth was the hardest to say goodbye too. They had gotten kinda close in the short time they had known each other. Ryan never really let himself get close to anyone, but Seth was a welcome exception. Marissa, too, in some respects. And that brought him back to Marissa. Ryan seriously doubted she'd even want to talk to him. After all, they had ended things kind of badly. Or, he had ended things badly. But yet again, Ryan couldn't make himself say no to Seth.  
  
"Whatever. I'll see ya' tomorrow." Ryan hung up, strangely relieved and depressed at the same time.  
  
He shook it off, not entirely successful. But now he had to think about tonight. Laying in an alley for two days had been okay when he was unconscious, but that wasn't going to cut it for tonight.  
  
****  
  
Seth listened to the dial tone for a few seconds before he finally hung up. Ryan hadn't sounded good, not good at all. There was something in his tone. Like, defeat or something. He sounded like that when Seth went to see him in juvie.   
  
"What to do, what to do?" Seth asked himself. Ryan's mom obviously hadn't been sleeping in the next room like he had wanted him to believe. Did that mean that she had ditched him, yet again?  
  
"Probably."  
  
Seth frowned, he really couldn't believe he'd gotten Ryan to agree to lunch tomorrow. He had been sure he'd say no. In fact, Ryan almost had. Gertie and Jamison? Seth had no idea where that was.   
  
"Dad was right. We do live in a bubble."  
  
Seth thoughtfully pondered that. He could probably ask him. Ryan hadn't said anything about not telling his parents. He probably wouldn't mind, they were concerned too, after all. Yeah, right. Ryan would definitely be pissed if Sandy showed up.  
  
But what else could he do? Seth had no idea how to find his way around Chino and he would have to borrow the car. A no-win situation.  
  
Oh, well. Ryan would have to get over it. Sandy had been to Chino lots of time for cases. Seth left the sanctuary of his room and headed downstairs, hoping his dad was up.  
  
He heard voices.   
  
"Kirsten, it's been two weeks! He said he'd call in a week. I'm really worried. Maybe I should start checking at shelters tomorrow."  
  
"Sandy, he'll call. This has probably been a little hectic for him."  
  
"Do you really think he'll call?"   
  
"Really?" A pause "No, not really."  
  
"Well, speak of the devil." Seth said, breaking in. "You're both wrong. That was him."  
  
"What'd I tell you, Sandy? I knew he would call." Kirsten smiled, looking somewhat pleased with herself.  
  
"Well, what'd he say? Is he okay? Where's he at?" Sandy demanded impatiently.  
  
"Uh, well, I don't know exactly." Seth answered, unsure of what to tell them.  
  
"What do you mean, you don't know?" Kirsten asked, obviously worried.  
  
"Well, he said he was okay. Which I take with a grain of salt and I don't know where he's at. Somewhere in Chino, I think."  
  
"How did he sound?" This from Sandy.  
  
"Not good. He insisted everything was fine, but…"  
  
"Where's his mom?"   
  
"He said she was there, but I don't really think so." Seth answered, his uncertainty apparent.  
  
"Oh, Sandy, what are we going to do? What if he's just living on the streets?" Kirsten said, fairly frantic now.  
  
"I don't know." Sandy answered, clearly thinking.  
  
"If it's true, if his mother is gone…. I want him here." Kirsten stated with finality.  
  
"Here as in…?" Seth asked, not wanting to get his hopes up.  
  
"Here as in living here, in this house, a part of our family." Sandy looked over at his wife.   
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Absolutely."  
  
"Great!" Seth exclaimed, excited.  
  
Kirsten looked worried again. "How are we going to tell him? Did he give you a number?"  
  
"Uh, no, but I got something even better."  
  
"What?" They exploded together.  
  
"We're meeting for lunch tomorrow. In Chino, a Coney Island."  
  
"That's great! We'll all go." Kirsten said, looking excited.  
  
"No." Seth and Sandy resounded at the same time. Seth looked at his dad in surprise.  
  
"I don't think that's a good idea. Honey, you know how Ryan is. I think right now he trusts Seth more than us. He might not like it if we show up."  
  
"You're probably right." Kirsten replied thoughtfully.  
  
"Yes, he is." Seth filled in. "Are you guys sure about this?"  
  
"Why, of course, Seth. Why do you ask?" Sandy turned to his son, surprised.  
  
"Well, I just…If something happens or you change your minds…"  
  
"Seth, we're very sure about this. We're not going to kick Ryan out, even if 'something' happens. Besides, 'things' have already happened. Right? " Sandy replied, resolutely, looking at Kirsten for support.  
  
"That's absolutely right." She answered.  
  
"Okay, then. Let's do this."  
  
****  
  
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!!! Ryan felt as if his head was going to explode. That idiot who seemed more than just slightly mentally unstable had been talking to his sock for the past hour. That's it.  
  
"Hey, shut up, already. Some of us are trying to sleep." Ryan exclaimed. Several others chimed in in agreement.  
  
"It's okay, pay no attention to the heathens." The man comforted his sock, looking offended.  
  
Ryan sighed for the umpteenth time and rolled over, jamming the pillow over his ear. He was definitely going to have to figure out alternate living arrangements for tomorrow. The shelter was run by a bunch of do-gooders who cared nothing for it except for the tax right-off. And it smelled. Badly. And it was crowded. And it smelled. And it was filled with nut jobs. But it was a bed. Not warm and certainly not clean, but it was a bed.  
  
He had thought about going to a different one that he knew of that was run by a church. They, however, would care about his age and call Child Services. Child. He hadn't been a child in a very long time. Maybe never.  
  
So this stinking hell hole had been his only real option. It's only redeeming feature was the shower, which he had promptly used. There hadn't been a line; most of the people staying here hadn't graced a shower in ages and they certainly weren't about to start now.  
  
"Hello."  
  
Ryan flinched and ripped the pillow off his head. There was a man hovering over him.  
  
"Yes." He said, rudely. These people would eat you alive if you gave them the chance.  
  
"You're very young to be here."  
  
"So?" Ryan asked sharply.  
  
"Where's your family? You're very handsome, you know." The man was leering at him now. Okay, enough of this shit.  
  
"That's it buddy. Get the fuck away from me." Ryan said, almost growling. He was sitting up, fully prepared to jump off the bed and let the sicko have it.  
  
"Hey, hey," The man smiled putting his hands out defensively. "I was just making conversation."  
  
"Whatever. Get the fuck away from me." Ryan demanded, he was standing now, his senses fully alert.  
  
"Alright, alright." The man gave him another wide grin and shuffled away. He turned. "I'll be over there if you need some company."  
  
Ryan didn't respond. If there was thing he was certain of, it was that he sure as hell wouldn't be sleeping tonight.  
  
****  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, Marissa. It's Seth."  
  
"Hey, what's up?"  
  
"Yeah…well, Ryan called." Seth started, unsure how to proceed.  
  
"Oh?" Marissa answered, trying to sound disinterested. But the truth was that she was very interested. She had been thinking about him constantly. Seth had mentioned Ryan would call after a week, but he hadn't and she had been way too disappointed. She still couldn't believe that he had left without a single goodbye. Marissa had thought she meant something to him. After his stint in juvie and everything that had happened, she hadn't seen him, so maybe she had been expecting too much. Then again, in the short time she knew Ryan, she had begun to see how he was. Marissa had never met anyone so closed off and guarded. But she had seen his guard down, if only briefly, and she had liked it. Things with Luke were still rocky, Marissa honestly didn't know how much longer they would last.   
  
"Marissa?" Seth asked.  
  
"Oh, what?"   
  
"I was just saying that we're going to meet. For lunch, and…I…well, I'm sure he'd like you to come."  
  
"Well…I don't know Seth. I mean, he didn't even say goodbye, so I'm sure he'll really care if I'm there or not." Marissa sniffed.  
  
"Marissa, come on. You know how he is. It really killed him that they just took off like that. He really wanted to, you have to believe that." Seth said emphatically, sure it was true.  
  
"Yeah. Well, okay. What time, where at?" She acquiesced, she really did want to go and see him, see how he really was.  
  
"11:00 at a Coney Island in Chino. You driving?"  
  
"I guess. You got directions?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Okay, well, I'll meet out front at, like, 10:30."  
  
"It's a date."  
  
"Goodbye Seth." Marissa hung up, smiling despite herself. She looked at the clock. 9:00. She had never been so excited for lunch before.  
  
****  
  
"There, there it is." Seth pointed.  
  
"I see it, I see it. Man, this is a lot different from Newport."  
  
"No kidding." Seth affirmed. They pulled in and found a parking spot.   
  
"Any sign of him?" Marissa questioned, anxious.  
  
"No, but it's only 10:50. I didn't think we'd get here this quickly."  
  
"Hey, I follow the speed limit." Marissa said, indignantly.  
  
"Yeah, for the Autobahn." Seth answered wryly.  
  
She chuckled slightly. "I got us here, didn't I?"  
  
"Just barely, Marissa." They reached the door and walked in, searching for Ryan.  
  
"I don't see him." Seth said, disappointed. He was worried Ryan wouldn't show.  
  
"Me neither." Marissa replied, sounding just as upset.  
  
"It's still early, lets sit over there." Seth motioned in the direction of a secluded booth with a clear view of the door.  
  
And they waited.  
  
****  
  
"Hey, man, what time is it?" Ryan asked the clerk as he fetched a pack of cigarettes.  
  
"Uh, 11:25. $3.78"  
  
"Shit." Ryan mumbled under his breath and handed the cashier his money. He was late. Ryan accepted the pack and walked out of the gas station. Pulling out a smoke, he lit it. He'd chain-smoked the other pack while he sat under the stoop of the shelter.  
  
Ryan started down the street, a giant yawn overtaking him. He hadn't slept at all last night. He'd just sat there, smoking. Eventually he'd gotten up and walked the streets. He'd gone back to the shelter to take a shower before they closed it for the daytime and kicked everyone out.  
  
At least he smelled good. Thank God he'd had a change of clothes in his backpack. He would hate to see Seth wrinkle his nose in disgust. His jacket smelled like liquor and smoke but there wasn't anything he could do about that.  
  
The Coney Island was just around the corner. Ryan wondered if Seth would still be there, or if he had taken off.  
  
He crossed the street and came upon the Coney. Ryan searched the parking lot for the Cohen car. He didn't see it. He almost turned back, but Ryan did need to eat something. It would be good to just sit.  
  
He paused outside the door, lighting another cigarette. He would be out of money very shortly if he kept smoking like this. Ryan pulled the glass door open, the bell tinkled merrily above.  
  
Ryan's eyes scanned the restaurant. He didn't see Seth. Ryan felt his heart drop. It was his own fault though, he was a half hour late.  
  
"Ryan, over here!" Seth's voice rang throughout the place.  
  
Ryan's head shot up, Seth was waving to him from across the restaurant.  
  
"Hey." Ryan raised his hand and made his way through the maze of tables. Seth was sitting with someone. A very thin, dark-haired someone. Marissa. Ryan's stomach did a flutter, but it could have been the smell from the kitchen.  
  
"Hey, Seth. Marissa." Ryan greeted as he slid in the booth next to Seth. Marissa gasped, she was staring at his face.   
  
"Ryan, man, what the hell happened to your face." Seth asked, a shocked look on his face.  
  
"Uh, it's nothing."  
  
"Nothing….Ryan…" Marissa said, having found her voice.  
  
"Yeah…I ran into, uh, a wall." Ryan faltered, he'd forgotten how horrendous his face looked. He'd be scared if he ran into himself in a dark alley.  
  
"Ryan, I think I speak for both of us when I say 'Yeah, right.'" Seth spoke up.  
  
"I'm fine. Sorry I'm late. I lost track of time. Didn't think you'd still be here." Ryan spoke honestly.  
  
"Yeah, like we'd leave without seeing. We were beginning to think you wouldn't show, though."  
  
"So, what's up in the O.C.?" Ryan asked.  
  
"Nothing much." Seth looked at Marissa. "Yeah, not a whole lot."  
  
"Sounds exciting." Ryan forced a smile.  
  
"Are you guys ready to order?" A waitress approached, pad and pen in hand.  
  
"Uh, I think he'll need to look at a menu." Marissa answered motioning to Ryan.  
  
"No, I'll just have water and a plate of white toast. Separate checks, please." Ryan cut in.  
  
Seth and Marissa placed their orders, each surprised at Ryan's choice.  
  
"Toast?" Seth questioned as the waitress left.  
  
"I had breakfast." Ryan shrugged. In truth, he was starving. Ryan knew from bitter experience that if he gulped down a meal after not eating for a few days, he'd be puking everywhere. Already, the smell from the kitchen was making him nauseous.   
  
Marissa frowned. She was studying him. Ryan looked horrible. His normally very handsome face was pale, gaunt, and terribly bruised.   
  
Ryan looked up to face Marissa's intense stare. He looked away and back to her.   
  
"What?"  
  
  
  
"Nothing, I just…Where's your--?"  
  
"Here ya' are." The waitress set their plates and drinks down. Marissa cursed her bad timing.  
  
"Thanks." Ryan said, accepting the water from her. Seth frowned, Ryan's sleeve moved down, there was something dark on his arm.  
  
Seth reached over and gently pulled the sleeve down farther. Ryan yanked his arm away, flinching at the unexpected contact.  
  
"What?" Ryan demanded. He hated when people touched him, especially when he wasn't ready for it.  
  
"Nothing. What's on your arm?" Seth asked, curious. He reached over again. This time Ryan let him, curious as to what he was talking about.  
  
"Oh, my God. Ryan, that's a --" Seth gently put his hand in the shape of the ugly bruise that encircled Ryan's wrist.  
  
Marissa stared, shocked. How hard would you have to grab someone to make a bruise like that?  
  
Ryan pulled his arm away. "It's nothing." Ryan glanced at Seth and then Marissa out of the corner of his eyes.   
  
"Nothing, Ryan, this looks like something to me. Who did this? I mean, God, your face, your arm. What the hell happened?" Seth questioned, concerned.  
  
"Look, it's no big deal, really. I'm fine." Ryan said, not meeting their eyes. Right now, he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince, himself or them. Suddenly, his stomach lurched. Uh oh. Yeah, it was definitely time to hit the bathroom. Already, he felt the bile rising.  
  
Ryan almost jumped from the table, knocking his glass of water.   
  
"I'll be right back." He said, nearly running to the bathroom.  
  
"Ryan?" Seth watched him go, unsure of what had just happened.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Marissa said, concerned.  
  
"I have no idea. He looked kinda sick, there. I think I'll go check on him." Seth slid out of the booth.  
  
"Good idea. I hope he's okay." Marissa replied, upset.  
  
"You and me both." Seth answered, walking away. He didn't think Ryan had ever been 'okay.'  
  
****  
  
Thanks for reading, that's it for now. I promise to have more up soon! Don't forget to review!  
  
MacKynzie 


	2. Flashback

--MacKynzie  
  
--PG-13  
  
--AU--Ryan's mom takes him out of the Cohen household before the Casino Party and ditches him again.  
  
--Not mine, just borrowing.  
  
--If you are interested in more of my stories, they are under the name MacKynzie1. I've written stories on SeaQuest, Star Trek:Voyager, and X-Men: The Movie.   
  
Left Behind: Part 2  
  
Ryan looked up as the bathroom door opened. Seth walked in.  
  
"You okay?" He asked, obviously concerned.  
  
"I'm fine." Ryan grunted, wiping his face with a paper towel. He looked at himself in the mirror. His gaunt face was pale, even more so than when he'd gotten there. He tossed the paper towel into the waste basket. His hands were shaking.  
  
"Ryan?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I was trying to get your attention…" Seth trailed off, looking even more worried, if that was at all possible.  
  
"Sorry. I spaced for a sec. Let's go." Ryan frowned, brushing past him.  
  
Seth followed, noticing his awkward gait. Ryan was slightly hunched over, his footsteps were a little wandering. He came to the table, swaying slightly. Seth's arms immediately shot out.  
  
"Ryan. Maybe you should go to the doctor or something."  
  
"Yeah, or something." Ryan slid into the booth, not meeting Marissa's intense gaze.  
  
"What happened? Are you okay?" Marissa said.  
  
"I'm just a little nauseous. Nothing to worry about." Ryan mumbled.  
  
"Listen, Ryan, I need to talk to you about your living arrangements." Seth started, he was very nervous for some reason.  
  
Ryan didn't even look up. He still felt sick.  
  
"Look, my parents and me are really worried about you. You obviously aren't well. And even if you were, well…I don't know how to say this without sounding like an idiot." Seth took a deep breath. Ryan still hadn't looked at him.   
  
"We want you to come live with us. Permanently. As a part of the family." Seth let out the breath he had been holding.  
  
"Ryan?"  
  
"I don't need your fucking charity, Cohen." Ryan growled, he just wasn't up to this. His heart had leapt at Seth's announcement, but the reality of the situation hit him quickly. He was dirty. Ugly. Tainted. He had more baggage at sixteen then most had at thirty. Dirty. Ugly. Tainted. Dirty. Ugly. Tainted. If he stayed one week in Newport Beach he'd destroy the whole town. Look at how much damage he's single-handedly caused in the short amount of time he'd been there.  
  
"Ryan! What the hell are you talking about? This isn't charity. This is…I don't know what this. But I know it isn't charity!"  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes.   
  
"Look, Ryan, why can't you just accept that the Cohen's really care about you?" Marissa interjected, not really surprised at his reaction. Ryan was tough nut to crack. "I care about you. I don't want to see you living on the street! The Cohen's care, Ryan, whether you want to believe it or not."  
  
Ryan didn't answer. He straightened up and motioned Seth out of the booth. Seth jumped out of the booth, he had seen the change in Ryan's face. Ryan quickly ran/walked to the bathroom again, Seth in tow. Marissa followed, hot on their heels.  
  
Ryan pushed open the nearest stall and heaved into the toilet. There was nothing solid left. He dry heaved, pains shooting through his abdomen. When he was done, his head ached even worse than before.  
  
Ryan slowly stood, unsteady. He walked to the sink, surprised to see both Seth and Marissa standing in the bathroom.  
  
Suddenly, he spun on his heel and dove to the toilet again. That toast had obviously been a very, very bad idea.  
  
Marissa and Seth stared in surprise, listening to Ryan heave his guts out.  
  
Finally, the harsh sound subsided. Ryan was too tired to even move. He sat on the floor, not caring how dirty it was.  
  
Marissa and Seth moved towards him immediately. They knelt next to him, squeezing in the tiny stall.   
  
"Ryan?" Marissa finally voiced. His head was tilted against the wall, his eyes closed.  
  
"I haven't eaten in a few days. Makes me sick." He said, not opening his eyes. "My fucking mother and her fucking squeeze dumped me in a fucking alley. I was out for awhile, so I haven't eaten." He sighed.  
  
Seth and Marissa stared at each other in shock. In an alley? Had he really just said that his mother had dumped him in an alley?  
  
Seth found his voice. "What happened, Ryan?"  
  
Ryan swallowed, his Adam's apple working furiously. "When she showed up, I knew. I just knew."  
  
"Knew what, Ryan?" Marissa asked, sitting next to him.  
  
"That she would fuck me over."  
  
2 Weeks Earlier  
  
"Where's the car?" Ryan asked, dubious.   
  
"We're going to it." Dawn answered shortly. Ryan rolled his eyes, how the woman managed to get an attitude this early was beyond him.  
  
Dawn gave the driver directions as they drove off. Ryan sighed, staring back at the Cohen home. Why did she have to screw up everything? But who was he kidding, it was either his mother or Child Services. There was no way the Cohen's would have taken him in for good. He was dangerous. An unpredictable wild card that could destroy their family.  
  
They drove for sometime, the houses gradually getting smaller, the lawns more unkept. Ryan frowned as they reached the address. It was a K-Mart parking lot.   
  
"Thanks." Dawn threw some bills at the driver and they got out.  
  
Ryan scanned the lot, searching for their car. There. The ugly rust bucket was fairly inconspicuous next to the other ugly rust buckets that were parked in the lot.  
  
"Why didn't you just drive your car?" Ryan questioned as they walked to the car. They came upon it and Ryan immediately saw the answer. The car was packed with boxes.  
  
"What happened?" Ryan knew he wouldn't like the answer.  
  
"I told you I left A.J." Then again…   
  
"Did he throw you out?" Ryan questioned.  
  
"Maybe. Like the bastard could do any better." Dawn snorted. "And those goddamn snobs in Newport Beach. It's a good thing I got you out of there. I can't have my baby corrupted." She smiled, patting his cheek.  
  
They squeezed in the packed car.   
  
"Did you sell my stuff?" Ryan asked, he already knew the answer.  
  
"Well, I gotta eat, don't I?" Dawn huffed.  
  
It was getting dark and Ryan had a feeling they'd be camping out in the car tonight. Ryan frowned, they were heading out of Chino.  
  
"Where're we goin'?" Ryan asked.  
  
"You are going fishing." Dawn said seriously.  
  
Ryan's frown deepened. She couldn't be serious. He hadn't been fishing in awhile.  
  
"Mom, come on. I can't do that. If I get caught…what with that car thing on my record…I'll be in deep shit. Don't you have anything? What happened to that job at that laundry mat?"  
  
"I quit, they were stiffing me. You've never been caught. You're doing this." Dawn's tone said there was no sense in arguing. "Besides, I gotta give him something." She muttered.  
  
An alarm went off in Ryan's head. "What are you talking about? Give who something?"  
  
Dawn glanced over at him, lighting a cigarette. "Who do you think? Even with you 'working' we won't have enough to get a place. A.J. moved into an apartment near our old place. He's won't take me back; especially if I got you in tow without givin' him something."  
  
"Mom! What the hell? I thought you were tired of that scum bag!" Ryan exploded. She couldn't be serious.  
  
"Ryan, shut your mouth. A.J. is a good man. If you could learn to keep the hell out of his way, he wouldn't have to knock sense into you." Dawn said, exasperated.  
  
"Whatever." Ryan sighed, putting his head against the window, watching the business district come into view. It was still light out, the office stiffs walking to their cars, or out to the bar to bitch about their day with the other wage slaves. Basically, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. Hence, fishing.  
  
Ryan lit his own cigarette, pondering the best place to start. He hadn't been out here in awhile.  
  
"Hey, Ry, why did you stop doing this anyways?" Dawn questioned. She had had no idea he was picking until one of his friends had mentioned how good he was. Until then, she'd had no idea he always managed to keep the refrigerator stocked. Of course, when she found out that he had money…Well, needless to say she needed money.  
  
"It's not nice." Ryan grunted. Once she found out, Dawn badgered him for money, which was okay, because she was his mother and they were pretty much poor. And besides, shouldn't she be able to buy herself something nice once and awhile? Then one day he came home, something he rarely did during the day, and found her old pusher making himself at home. And that was end of Ryan's moneymaking.  
  
"Pull in up here." He didn't want to argue with her, they really did need money. Ryan would worry about the A.J. factor tomorrow.  
  
"How long will you be?" Dawn asked. Ryan shrugged, that would depend.  
  
"Do you have enough for a parking garage?" She couldn't just sit in a parked junker for an hour, not in this neighborhood.  
  
"Yeah, I think so."  
  
"There's a garage at the corner. Stay in the car, this shouldn't take too long." Ryan said, opening the door.  
  
"Okay. Good luck." Dawn smiled. Ryan forced a half smile and got out of the car, watching his mother pull away. Ryan finished his cigarette and flicked the butt away. He looked at his hands, hoping he hadn't lost his magic.  
  
"Alright, let's do this." Ryan took a deep breath and set off down the street eyeing for a good mark, the easier the better. Men were better targets, purses were hard to grab. There! Ahead of him, a man walking hurriedly, his ear glued to a phone. He was holding the phone in his left hand, which probably meant he was left handed and would have his wallet in the right pocket of his high-priced trench coat.  
  
Ryan quickened his pace to catch up with man. Coming to a corner, the man and several others waited for the walk signal. Perfect. Ryan came to the corner, standing abnormally close to the man, on his right side. Casually, he pivoted as if to check out something behind him. Ryan's hand shot into the man's pocket, successfully retrieving his wallet. The suit looked down, he must have felt something. Ryan moved a step away. "Sorry." Still facing the other way, he raised a hand in greeting and said a loud, "Hey." Ryan looked out of the corner of his eye, the man had quickly dismissed him, yelling into his phone about TPS reports.  
  
The light changed and the crowd moved to the other side, leaving Ryan behind. He walked a few steps back, stopping underneath an awning. He opened the wallet, hoping for the best. 80 bucks, not bad for two seconds work. Ryan pocketed the money, and checking to see that no one was looking, dropped the wallet at his feet.   
  
Ryan pulled out a cigarette and began scopeing the street for his next mark.  
  
****  
  
Dawn put her head against the seat, sighing. She adjusted the mirror to look at herself. Her eyes were bloodshot and her cheeks had a sunken in appearance. God, what had she become? Things were much simpler back when she was young and actually believed that life had dealt her a better hand than her own mother. Things were a lot more complicated now. What kind of mother was she? Forcing her kid to commit a crime. Dawn sighed again, looking at her hands, they were shaking.  
  
She reached into the glove box and pulled out a plastic baggy that from the outside appeared innocent. A white powder, a rolled up bill, a small mirror, and a single edge razor blade. The makings of a good time. Dawn cut some of the powder, thinking how pissed Ryan would be if he came upon her. Self-conscious, she looked around. The garage was empty. Dawn hunched over and snorted the lines she had made. Ahhh. She no longer had a care in the world.  
  
****  
  
Well, that's it for now, more up soon. TTFN  
  
MacKynzie 


	3. The Telling

Left Behind: Part 3  
  
A/N: Continuation of the flashback began in chapter 2.  
  
2 Weeks Earlier  
  
The hollow echoes of his footsteps seemed criminal in the eerie silence of the parking garage. The first level was nearly empty, his mother's car stood out like a sore thumb. His bike was strapped to the roof and did little to improve the image of the car.  
  
Ryan approached the car. He opened the door and hopped in.  
  
"Mom?" Dawn was slumped over, her head resting on the steering wheel. Ryan reached over and shook her.  
  
Dawn woke up, her head snapping back.  
  
"Ryan." Her voice was hoarse, her eyes glassy and dull.  
  
"You're high." Ryan snorted in disgust. "I left you alone for less than an hour! I thought you were clean?!"  
  
"Ryan, don't be upset. I was, but this has been a very stressful time." Dawn's excuse came out in a rush.  
  
Ryan shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Get out."  
  
"What?" Dawn asked, not comprehending.  
  
"Get out, there's no way you're driving like this." Ryan said, getting out of the car. He walked to the other side, pulling open her door. She looked blearily at him, her bloodshot eyes half closed. "Come on." Ryan muttered, pulling her out. Supporting her, they walked/stumbled to the passenger side. Ryan lowered her in, shutting the door. He walked to the driver's side. He didn't have his license, but Ryan had been carting her around for years. Picking her up from the bar or the local crack house was a nearly every day occurrence.  
  
Ryan got in and put his head against the wheel, thinking. Where to go, where to go? He supposed a motel was their best bet. Ryan started the car and leaving the garage, they headed out of the business district and back towards Chino.   
  
"Where we goin'?" Dawn questioned.  
  
"Motel." Ryan muttered. He had collected over three hundred, they would be okay for a night or two. Dawn, however, had other ideas.  
  
"Go to A.J.'s" Dawn stated.  
  
"Mom, come on, you need to think about this for a day or two. I've got enough for a motel for a couple of nights." Ryan protested, he had a feeling it would do no good.  
  
"No. We're goin' to A.J.'s." Dawn insisted. Ryan knew there was little point in arguing.  
  
"Fine. Where?"   
  
****  
  
The loud, sharp raps stirred A.J. out of his self-induced alcohol coma. He shook the cobwebs out of his head. Sitting up, he cursed. Who the hell would be knocking on his door? A.J. pushed himself off the couch, lumbering to the door. He pulled the door open, not surprised who was standing there.  
  
"Dawn." A.J. said gruffly, her brat kid was standing off to the side, a grim expression on his face.  
  
"A.J." Dawn started, wringing her hands. "Can we come in? We really need to talk."  
  
A.J. shook his head, he knew the bitch would come crawling back to him. "Yeah, sure." He stepped aside to let them in.  
  
****  
  
Ryan rolled over, unable to sleep. The couch was rough and scratchy, and the springs were poking him. Dawn had kissed A.J.'s feet, practically begging him to take her back. He'd agreed, especially when she gave him the money. Ryan had held some back, just in case. They would burn through it in a flash.  
  
Ryan sighed and got up. He headed for the bathroom. Standing over the sink, he drank some water. Ryan looked at his reflection. His lip was split, A.J. had been kind enough to wait about five minutes before he decided to try and rearrange Ryan's face. Ryan knew he couldn't stay with them. A.J. would eventually kill him, God knew he'd tried before.   
  
It had been nice, with the Cohen's. Ryan didn't have worry that a smart remark would earn him an uppercut from Mr. Cohen, or from Mrs. Cohen for that matter. Seth had complained, asking Ryan why he didn't talk very much. Ryan had shrugged, settling for a look. He used to, talk that is. But his father and eventually his mother's many boyfriends had taught him to keep his trap shut. Little did people know that Ryan had a very sarcastic streak that he kept completely in check. At the Cohen's, he'd actually voiced one or two of the many comments that came to his mind.  
  
A knock at the door startled him. He cracked it warily. Dawn was standing there.  
  
"Ryan." She sounded sober enough, if a little irritable. Dawn looked him up and down.  
  
"What?" Ryan demanded, not in the mood for her shit.   
  
"Punk kid. What did I tell you about that mouth of yours?"  
  
"Yeah, fuck you." Ryan said sharply. Dawn's hand lashed out, striking him. Ryan's head snapped to one side. Slowly, he turned back to her. "Fuck you." He whispered, slipping past her. Dawn struck out again, grabbing Ryan's wrist. Squeezing tightly her eyes bored into her son.  
  
"Don't fuck this up for me, Ryan." Her voice twisted at his name. Dawn squeezed tighter and tighter, the mother and son staring each other down. After what seemed an eternity, Dawn looked away and let go of Ryan.  
  
Ryan walked back into the living room, pacing the length. He was furious, but his stoic face revealed nothing, as always. How dare she? How dare she defend that jackass she fucked and not her own son? Why was he even mad? One would think that he had stopped caring years ago. After all, this was nothing new for him. But he did care. She was still his mother. No matter if it was only in the biological sense. That was the problem, he did care, even if he couldn't afford too anymore.   
  
That was it, he was done. Ryan had been spoiled, he'd had a taste of a normal life at the Cohen's and he selfishly wanted more. Ryan honestly didn't know how much longer he could last with his mom. But at the same time, how could he leave her? What kind of son abandons his incredibly irresponsible mother? But was that really his job? He was the kid after all, wasn't it her job to take care of him? Although that hadn't been true for years.   
  
Ryan sighed. He knew the truth.   
  
He could never leave.  
  
****  
  
Seth had to leave.   
  
His house was crushing him. Swallowing him whole. It was high time he got over it and left the house, even if he was alone. God, how pathetic was that? One person shows up and turn his life upside down. Ryan hadn't called. Seth knew he wouldn't, but had still held out hope anyways. He dearly hoped that Ryan was okay. He didn't trust Ryan's mom, he wanted some proof that Ryan was alright.   
  
Seth looked out the window and decided that life wasn't so great on the outside. He'd rather sit by the phone like some love-sick school girl.  
  
****  
  
Marissa wanted to leave.  
  
Her life was falling apart. Her family was self-destructing before her very eyes. Maybe if she left, she could pretend that everything was normal. Yeah, right. Talk about heavy duty denial. Nothing was the same.   
  
Marissa turned over onto her stomach, staring out the window. Her room was a mess, she hadn't the energy or the desire to mess around with the layer of clothes that carpeted her floor. A white tank top thrown carelessly on the sill suddenly caught her attention. Ryan.   
  
Ryan. She missed him. When Seth had told her that he and his mom had just split, she was crushed. And the worst part is, she didn't even know why. Marissa didn't even know the mysterious boy, and besides, she had a boyfriend.  
  
And yet, here she was thinking about Ryan, not her boyfriend.  
  
Could life get anymore complicated?  
  
****  
  
Ryan was awakened by the sound of yelling. Nothing new by any stretch of the imagination. He simply rolled over and crushed the pillow over his ear. Suddenly, something caught his ear. His name. Ryan moved the pillow and sat up, listening intently.  
  
"Dawn, I don't want that kid here! Him and his brother are nothing but a royal pain in my ass!"  
  
"A.J., come on, he's my son. Besides, he's the one that made all that money. He's no trouble."  
  
"Gimme a break. He's what, 16? Too old to be livin' with his mommy. It's time he hit the road. I want him gone!"  
  
Dawn stormed out, stopping short in the living room. She offered him a half-hearted smile.  
  
"I don't…Ryan…I…" Dawn stuttered, unable to voice her thoughts.  
  
"What?" Ryan asked shortly, wishing she would spit it out.  
  
"I think he's right, you need to leave." Dawn blurted out.  
  
"What?! Mom, you can't be serious." Ryan jumped up, incredulous. He was feeling a strange sense of déjà vu.  
  
"Ryan, you're 16. I was gone way before then. You're old enough. I can't support you and A.J. anyways. You need to get a job, be a man." Dawn stated, matter of fact.  
  
"Mom, where am I goin' go?"  
  
"I dunno. You got friends. Find one of those whores you're so fond of." Dawn spat, tired of arguing with him.  
  
"Fine. Can I take a shower?" Ryan questioned, anger seeping into his voice.  
  
"Whatever." Dawn spun on her heel, stalking back to the bedroom.  
  
  
  
Ryan shook his head. This was not a turn he had expected. Why had she taken him away from the Cohen's in the first place? So she could get a couple hundred bucks to put at A.J.'s feet? Probably. When he'd told Marissa that his mom was a train wreck, he hadn't been kidding.  
  
Ryan made his way to the bathroom, pondering his options. The Cohen's were the most obvious one. But he'd already left. They were probably glad to be rid of him. One son was hard enough to manage, let alone a wild unknown second one. He'd done enough damage to the all-American family to last the rest of their lives.   
  
He jumped in the shower, washing away the filth of the day before. Ryan scrubbed and scrubbed, dreading the end. He really had no where to go. He supposed he could call on one of the girls he knew. There were quite a few Ryan knew of that would be more than happy to let him occupy their bed.  
  
Nothing seemed to work out for him. He had a good thing going with the Cohen's and then his tornado mother whirled in. Now she was throwing him out on the street again.  
  
Why couldn't anything in life be easy?  
  
****  
  
There's more to follow soon enough. I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this, the plot bunnies are going in all different directions, so if anyone has any ideas, feel free to spout them off. Thanks!   
  
MacKynzie 


	4. Welcome Home

Left Behind: Part 4  
  
Present  
  
"Ryan?" Seth questioned. Ryan had fallen silent again.   
  
"Huh?" Ryan looked up. He'd been staring at the ground for several long moments. His stomach was several upheavals beyond empty. Suddenly, he stood up, startling Seth and Marissa who were sitting next to him. They quickly jumped up after him, following him to the sink. Ryan stood there, studying his reflection.  
  
"I gotta go." Ryan stated, he pivoted on his heel and marched out of the bathroom. Marissa and Seth just stood there for a second, mouths open. Snapping out of it, they went after him.  
  
"Ryan, what the hell? Where are you going?" Marissa demanded, watching Ryan sling his backpack over his shoulder.  
  
"I gotta go." He repeated, not looking either of them in the eye.   
  
"Where do you think you're going to go?" Seth asked.  
  
"I dunno. I just have to go." Ryan sighed. He really had to get out of there and away from the prying teens.  
  
"Ryan, you're coming with us. Back to my house." Seth stated, matter of fact.  
  
"Seth, I can't. I just…can't." Ryan said, regretfully.  
  
"I don't understand, Ryan. Help me out here. Why can't you stay with us? Your mom is history, your dad is out of the picture, who else do you have?" Seth demanded, instantly regretting how harsh he sounded.  
  
Ryan's eyes narrowed and his face hardened. "No one. You're right, Seth. Is that what you wanted to hear? There, I have no one. Are you happy now?" Ryan spat.  
  
"Ryan, you know what he means." Marissa spoke up, defending Seth. "The Cohen's want to be your family. You do have someone. You have the Cohen's, you have me." Her voice had softened. "We care about you, as hard as that is to believe. The Cohen's want the best for you. You've made an impact on all of us."  
  
Ryan finally looked at Marissa and then Seth. He could see that she meant it, they both did. God only knew why they cared, who was he? Some kid with a screwed up family. What made him so goddamned special? But the bitch of it was, Ryan really believed that they cared. So he stood there and thought about it. What option did he have? Life on the streets, eventually hooked on drugs or booze or both? Dead before his 21st birthday? What kind of future was that? Ryan was a smart kid, much smarter than even Sandy Cohen thought, he could see the writing on the wall. Ryan knew there was nothing out there for him. So why was he resisting? Pride? Fear? Distrust? Anger? It had something do with all of those and much more. So, the real question was: how could he not accept the Cohen's offer? It came with practically no strings attached, what more could he hope for?  
  
Seth and Marissa watched as Ryan thought it over, although his face revealed nothing, as usual. He seemed to reach some sort of decision, though.   
  
"Okay." Ryan said, looking at the floor.  
  
"Okay? Just like that? Okay?" Seth questioned, surprised.  
  
Ryan quirked an eyebrow. "What do you want?"  
  
"I dunno. I just thought…I dunno." Seth shook his head, unsure of what he'd expected.  
  
"Let's go." Ryan said, walking to the door, leaving Seth and Marissa in his wake.   
  
"Uh, okay." Seth shook his head again, and followed him out, Marissa close behind.  
  
Ryan lit up a cigarette, looking for the Cohen car. Marissa walked passed him, leading the way to her car. No wonder he'd thought Seth had already left, he hadn't been looking for Marissa's car.  
  
The trio got in, Marissa and Ryan up front, Seth in back. They started the fairly long drive back to Newport, the windows down, radio blasting. A thought suddenly occurred to Marissa. Ryan hadn't finished his story, and there was no way she was just going to let him leave it at that. He hadn't explained how he'd ended up in an alley.   
  
Marissa turned the radio off. Ryan looked over at her, he had a feeling he knew what was coming.  
  
"So." Marissa started. "So…" Ryan answered, casting her a sidelong glance.  
  
"So…What happened next?" Seth finished the thought.  
  
"Well…not a whole lot. She threw me out. Again. So I left, met up with some friends. Stayed with them for a few days, but it didn't work out." Ryan said.  
  
"So you just decided to sleep in an alley?" Seth asked, skeptical. Obviously, a little more had happened.   
  
"No, I went back to talk to my mom. To try and get her to change her mind. Big mistake. I was there and A.J. showed up. He was beyond pissed when he saw me there. He was drunk and probably high. He, like, freaked out." Ryan paused, taking a deep breath. "He came at me. I don't remember much after that. I remember my mom screaming about something and then…darkness. And then I woke up…in an alley…and it was two days later." Ryan finished.  
  
"Wow." Seth said, shocked at what Ryan had gone through. "I can't believe your mom would do that…" Seth trailed off, still stunned. He never would have believed such callousness existed, especially towards your own son.  
  
"Yeah…" Marissa said, equally shocked and horrified.  
  
"Well, it's done." Ryan forced a smile. "I'm okay, or at least I will be."  
  
The rest of the ride was spent on frivolous conversation. They were all drained from hearing about Ryan's harrowing two weeks. Unfortunately, all three knew Ryan would have to go through it again for Seth's parents. None of them were looking forward to it.  
  
****  
  
"How does it feel to be back?" Seth asked, flopping on the bed.  
  
"Uh, good." Ryan answered simply, still a little shocked that the Cohen's were not only taking him, but they wanted to be his guardians too. He'd agreed, of course. While he didn't look it, Ryan was excited. This was a chance for a whole new life, a chance to really start over and make something of himself. This kind of thing didn't even happen in the movies. Except Little Orphan Annie, that is. But that started out as a play. Broadway, right? Ryan shook himself out of his mental reverie. Seth was babbling on about how cool it was that he was living there permanently. And Ryan had to agree, it was very cool.  
  
Seth smiled, he knew Ryan wasn't paying any attention to him, but he didn't care. Finally, an ally. Seth hadn't been this excited since…well, ever. His parents had reacted just as he thought they would. They were shocked, horrified, stunned, sickened, and a host of other adjectives….  
  
*  
  
"Mom! Dad! We're home!" Seth bellowed.  
  
"Dude, can you be any louder?"  
  
"I dunno, do you really want to find out?"  
  
Ryan didn't get a chance to answer, both of the Cohen's came practically running out of the kitchen.  
  
"Ryan!" They exclaimed at almost the same instant. Their stunned faces would have been comical in any other situation. Kirsten enveloped Ryan in a crushing embrace.   
  
"Oh, my God! What happened? Are you alright? Who did this to you?" Kirsten managed to get it all out in one breath. Sandy wasn't far behind. "Where's your mother? Where have you been? Are you okay?"  
  
Ryan held up his hands in surrender. "It looks worse than it feels, trust me."  
  
"Sorry, Ryan, but that's not very comforting." Sandy stated. Ryan looked bad. Besides the atrocious bruise that dominated his face, he was gaunt and pale. His normally expressive crystal blue eyes had an empty, dead quality that to Sandy was the most worrisome.  
  
Ryan just shrugged, there was nothing he could do about it.  
  
"Oh, Ryan." Kirsten breathed. She released him but held onto his shoulders, looking him up and down. "I'm so glad you're back. We missed you around here, ya' know?" Kirsten forced a smile, her eyes glistening with tears. "Come on, let's go sit in the living room."   
  
Sandy led the way, Kirsten not letting go of the troubled teen. They reached the living room, Ryan finally escaping Kirsten's grasp. He sat on the chair gently, his wince not escaping Sandy and Kirsten.   
  
Ryan let out a deep breath.  
  
"So…My mom's kind of…gone…again. And I don't think she'll be back. If you want to call Children Services I understand." Ryan stopped suddenly, not looking at the sympathetic faces of the family before him.  
  
"Ryan, didn't Seth tell you? We'll call Children Services, but not to cut you loose. We all want you to be a part of this family. We want to be your guardians." Kirsten looked doubtful all of a sudden. "That is, if you want."  
  
Ryan looked up, hearing the uncertainty in her voice. "Yes! Of course, I mean if you really want. I…yeah if you're sure." His own voice was uncertain.  
  
Sandy spoke up. "Ryan, trust me on this: we're sure. And don't worry, there's nothing you could do beyond what you've already done to make us change our minds or kick you out." Sandy said, a slight smile on his face.  
  
Ryan nodded. "Okay."  
  
Seth was grinning madly. "This is awesome! Come on, Ryan, let's go talk about…stuff."  
  
Ryan returned the smile. "Okay. Yeah…okay." Kirsten enveloped him in a bear hug. Sandy settled for a firm handshake. "Welcome to the family, Ryan."  
  
*  
  
"So, Ryan. What really happened?" Seth asked, eyeing him.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Ryan answered, playing dumb. He should have known Seth wouldn't let it go.  
  
"After your mom kicked you out. You said you stayed with some friends. And then what happened?"  
  
"Seth, that is what happened. There's really nothing more to tell." Ryan looked away.  
  
"Ah, see. I saw that. Come on, you can tell me. What happened? I know there was more. Is it Marissa? You know I won't say a word. Come on, man. We're family now. What happened?" Seth could see he'd made headway. Ryan looked at him out of the corner of his eye, conveying more with a look than anyone Seth had ever known.  
  
"Okay, okay. Well, I left the house…"  
  
****  
  
Guess what? That's it for now. Stayed tuned to find out what really happened!  
  
MacKynzie 


	5. White Lie

Left Behind  
  
By: MacKynzie  
  
A/N: I borrowed the garage idea from Heath07 whose story was great (I know nothing about cars, so that part is glossed over). I love Ryan and Marissa but there needs to be more Ryan/Anna fics! (Hint, hint)  
  
PS: My first upload of this chapter got screwed up. Sorry! So here's the real deal!  
  
****  
  
"So this is California…not exactly what I expected."  
  
"No, this is Chino. Chino is like an island, granted it's a sick and depraved island, but still an island away from the sea that is Newport."  
  
"Wow, that's, like, really poetic, Julianna."   
  
"Yeah, I'm not just a stupid Latina, ya' know?"  
  
"Yeah, right." The two laughed out loud. Anna Stern took a look around her, not exactly the surroundings she was used to.   
  
"Here it is." Julianna pointed to a beige house that looked as if it had been infested with every critter imaginable and then spit back out.   
  
"I'll be right back, Anna-girl ." Anna smiled at Julianna's longtime nickname for her. In fact, Julianna had practically raised her, when her folks were away for great lengths of time doing whatever it was that kept parents away from their children. Anna honestly didn't know what she would have done without Julianna. The move cross-country was traumatic enough. Who knew that Pennsylvania and California would be so different? Well, any idiot who could read an atlas could tell you that, but reading about it and experiencing it were two completely different things.  
  
So, here she was 3,000 thousand miles away from home and in a ghetto to boot. Not that Anna minded, her family was rich but she was never shielded from some of the harsh realities of life. Besides, it was broad daylight and they were driving a beat-up station wagon covered in a plethora of colors that resembled a factory reject. Speaking of which, the car was becoming stifling. Anna got out, surveying the street once again.  
  
A movement at the house next door caught her eye.  
  
"Get out you fucking punk! I don't ever want to see your face here again, got it?!!" A woman's shrill voice rang throughout the block. Anna didn't think she'd ever heard a more annoying sound.  
  
A figure rushed out, slamming the door the behind him. Anna looked on curiously. He was young, probably about her age. And hot. God, was he good looking, or what? And what muscles! Anna felt a rush of heat just looking at him. He wore a black tank-top and a scowl. Anna wondered who had just kicked him out. A girlfriend or lover? Maybe a hooker? He stalked to the curb and plopped down with a sigh. Pulling out a pack of cigarettes he wasted no time in lighting one. Ah, an ice-breaker. Anna didn't smoke, but she'd tried it before.  
  
Trying to be as casual as possible, Anna sauntered over, almost losing her nerve. Too late, he noticed her.   
  
"Hey, can I bum a smoke?" He raised an eyebrow, his eyes unreadable. Wordlessly, he passed one over. Anna took it, watching as he lit it with his own.  
  
Ryan eyed the girl next to him. Talk about déjà vu. What was it about girls and him smoking? She smoked it in silence, but in such a way that told Ryan she wasn't a smoker. Without a word, she finished it, tossed the butt away and slinked back to the car she'd been standing next to. Hmm. This was different. Ryan tilted his head, thinking. She was hot. Very hot. She wore a short skirt and tank-top, her lace bra straps showing slightly. And she was obviously interested or she wouldn't have walked over in the first place. Hmm. This definitely had possibilities. He couldn't think of a better way to take his mind off the present situation.   
  
Anna smiled, she could feel his eyes on her back or butt, rather. Even the red handprint on his face and split lip couldn't hide how incredibly fine he was. She watched out of the corner of her eye as he stood up and walked towards her. Wait a sec. Wasn't she supposed to be afraid? This was the ghetto, after all. Where crime was the rule rather than the exception. But strangely enough, she wasn't. As silly and cliché as it sounded, there was just something about him.  
  
Ryan walked over to where she was leaning against the car. He turned and leaned against it, standing very close to her. She spoke first.  
  
"Anna." She stuck out her hand.  
  
"Ryan." Ryan shook it gently.  
  
"Visiting?" He asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Hooker?" She asked.  
  
"No."  
  
Their eyes met and they laughed at each other.   
  
"Yeah, I just moved here from Pennsylvania. My, well, I guess you could call her my nanny, her sister lives here." Anna explained.  
  
"Me and my mom are staying with her boyfriend. We were anyways. Now I'm not, apparently." Ryan shrugged. "Nanny, huh?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You don't look like the nanny type." Ryan responded, glancing over.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"So, Anna. How would you like a grand tour of the neighborhood?" Ryan asked, making a sweeping gesture with his hand.  
  
"Why not? Hang on a sec?" Anna headed towards the house without waiting for a response. She was back a moment later.  
  
"Okay. Lead on, McDuff."  
  
"So, are you moving to Chino?" Ryan asked, casting her a sideways glance.  
  
"Um, no. Newport, actually." Anna answered, biting her lip, strangely ashamed.  
  
"Newport?" Ryan asked in disbelief. "I guess that explains the nanny."  
  
"Yeah." Anna stared at the ground. "So what do you do in Chino for fun?"  
  
Ryan frowned, considering. He didn't think anything he did would be fun for a rich chick. What did he do for fun? Ryan honestly didn't know. Sure, he partied and hung out with his friends, but was that really fun? They were usually drunk or high, not really that fun.  
  
"Good question. I don't really know myself." Ryan answered as they walked around the block. The pair walked in silence for quite sometime. It wasn't uncomfortable, quite the opposite, in fact. Before she knew it, they were back to where they had started. So they walked some more.  
  
"Hey, Ryan!" A male voice broke the relative silence. Ryan turned in the direction of the voice.  
  
"Hey, Tommy. What's up?" Ryan answered, walking over to the teen.  
  
"Nothing. Hello…" Tommy's gaze looked up and down Anna.  
  
"Tommy. Anna. Anna. Tommy." Ryan provided the introduction, not liking the way his friend was ogling Anna. Although, he wasn't sure why he cared, he'd done the same thing upon seeing her.  
  
"Ry, you wanna help me with the car?" Tommy asked, tearing his eyes away from the babe at Ryan's side.  
  
"Uh, I don't think Anna…" Ryan looked at her for confirmation.  
  
"Cars? Hey, I'm in." Anna said with a confidence that surprised them both.  
  
"Okay." The pair followed Tommy into his garage. In the middle sat a rusted out Mustang. The hood was open with various parts strewn about.  
  
"A Mustang, cool." Anna said.  
  
Both the boys raised their eyebrows, they hadn't expected her to know even that much.   
  
"Let's get to work." Anna spoke again, this time with a big smile.  
  
"Yes, let's do that." Ryan replied with a nod. They worked together in relative silence, broken only occasionally by the thud of a tool or the thump of a head on the undercarriage.   
  
They had only been at it for about 20 minutes when a voice yelled from the house.  
  
"Thomas!" They all looked up.  
  
"What, ma?" The teen shouted back.  
  
"Phone!" Tommy sighed and went into the house. He was back a minute later.  
  
"That was Callie. I gotta go. But you guys can stay…" Tommy finished.  
  
Ryan looked at Anna. She seemed to be enjoying herself.  
  
"Okay. Maybe for a few." Ryan answered. Tommy rushed off, throwing a 'later' behind him.  
  
"Whose Callie?" Anna questioned.  
  
"His girl. Tommy's always at her beck and call." Ryan answered, looking over at Anna. She had a grease smudge on her cheek. Ryan frowned, just when he thought she couldn't look any sexier. And then he had a thought. It wasn't the first time he'd had this thought. But it was the first time he was seriously considering it. It was a bad thought, Anna wasn't like that. She wasn't the kind of girl who liked to be fucked. The kind of rough sex that would leave her aching in all the right places. No, she was the type of girl that wanted to make love. But then again, here she was giving him that look. That look that said maybe she did want to be fucked against a garage wall or on top of a car.  
  
Anna looked away from Ryan. He seemed to be evaluating her, his eyes unreadable. She glanced up at him, this time recognizing what was in his eyes, it was unmistakable. Anna deliberately walked over to the garage door and pulled it shut. She took a few steps towards him, answering with a look of her own, hoping it was unmistakable to him as well.  
  
She needn't have worried. He met her halfway. He smelled of sweat and grease and maleness. A killer combination. Anna reached out and pulled him closer. Ryan grabbed her shoulders roughly, shoving her up against the wall. And just like that they were kissing, Ryan's mouth taking hers captive, his tongue thrust into her mouth, taking complete control. Anna wasn't far behind. And then his mouth left hers, making its way across her face and neck and farther down, kissing the swell of her breasts. His hands mimicked the path of his mouth. Anna gasped as he did something particularly creative with his tongue. Anna's hands began their own roaming adventure of Ryan's muscular body. She grasped the bottom of his tank top and pulled it over his head, kissing his chest as she went. Ryan followed her cue, yanking her top up and over. Her pink lacey bra wasn't far behind…  
  
*  
  
"Well, I can't say I've ever been fucked like that." Anna said with a grin.  
  
"Thanks." Ryan replied, not surprised. Anna hadn't seemed like the type of girl who was into the sex that Chino was all about. She had definitely surprised him.  
  
"So is the part where we smoke?" Anna asked, not able to wipe the smile off her face.  
  
"Sure." Ryan shrugged. Lighting up, they left the garage and headed in the direction of Ryan's house.  
  
"I thought for sure his mom was going to come running out into the garage." Anna said, slightly embarrassed. Ryan had definitely had her screaming his name.  
  
"Nah, she's a drunk. Probably in a coma or something." Ryan assured her. Although, he'd of thought Anna's yelling would have risen the dead. Not that he minded. Nor did he mind the fingernail imprints on his back.  
  
"You know," Ryan changed topics, "this is the only time where it's relatively peaceful. Just before the sun sets, it's like, too early for the wild parties or something." Ryan said thoughtfully, blowing out a stream of smoke.  
  
"Yeah. It's nice." They strolled in companionable silence. Ryan didn't think he'd ever stuck around with girl after sex like this before. He was usually hopping in the front seat or out the window.  
  
"You know, I stayed in Newport for a little while." Ryan stated, surprised at himself. He rarely broke silences.  
  
"Really?" Anna asked, curious.  
  
"Yeah, it was…different." Ryan finished, unwilling to say anymore. Anna sensed he was done.  
  
They came upon A.J.'s house, only to find Anna's nanny standing next door on her sister's porch looking pissed.  
  
"Anna! Where in God's name have you been? I've been worried sick." She rushed off the porch, meeting them. Grabbing Anna's arm, Julianna gave Ryan a death-glare.  
  
"I was walking. I told you that." Anna protested, trying to pull her arm out of Julianna's vice-like grip.  
  
"You told me no such thing! Come on, we're leaving!" Julianna started pulling her in the direction of the car. Anna had other ideas, however. Finally yanking her arm away, she ran back to Ryan, who was standing there passively, smoking a cigarette. Anna kissed him hard on the mouth.  
  
"It was great." She whispered, regretful that this would the last time she would see him.  
  
"You too." Ryan smiled and nodded in the direction of a furious Julianna who was almost upon them. "See ya.'"  
  
Anna turned around and headed to the car without a backwards glance. Julianna waited until she was in and then got in herself. The backed up and sped down the street. Ryan watched the fading taillights with a bit of remorse. Shaking his head, he started for A.J.'s, hopefully they had had enough time to cool off and would forget the whole thing.  
  
Ryan, however, was never that lucky. With a feeling of dread, he trudged up the steps. This was most definitely a bad idea. But what could he do? His backpack was still in there. He entered the living room and looked at the couch in disgust. His mom was passed out, drunk and/or high. Ryan surveyed the room. Where had he left his bag? There! He spotted it, hidden behind an old milk crate. The toilet flushed, causing Ryan to jump. A.J. came lumbering out. There was nothing Ryan could do, nowhere to hide. A.J. spotted him immediately.  
  
"Didn't I tell you to get the fuck out of here?!" A.J. growled in disbelief.  
  
"Yeah, I know. I had to get my…" Ryan never had a chance. Yes, he was muscular and knew how to throw his weight around, but A.J. was in a whole different class. He charged, knocking Ryan to the floor. As Ryan crashed to the floor, he felt something snap inside. Not physically, but something deeper.   
  
Ryan was enraged.   
  
Not anger or fury, this emotion was white-hot and burned inside him with a vengeance. He saw A.J. towering over him and in that moment, Ryan saw his father, screaming at him and punching him again and again. He saw one of his mom's many boyfriends shooting up in his house and then having the gall to kick him out.  
  
And with that thought, he threw himself at A.J., surprising the man enough to upset his balance. Ryan followed it up with a rain of blows, barely conscious of what he was doing. A.J. quickly went back on the offensive, landing several well placed punches, pushing Ryan towards the wall. Somewhere, Ryan thought he heard his mother screaming. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his mom holding a broken beer bottle.   
  
And that was his last conscious thought for two days.  
  
****  
  
Present  
  
"Wow. I mean…wow. I just can't believe that your mom…" Seth couldn't even finish. It had been hard enough to hear when Ryan had glossed over the facts. But now, in detail…It was even more tragic.  
  
Ryan didn't respond. He'd relayed the tale the least amount of emotion possible. He was drained and desperate for a cigarette.  
  
"So what about this chick you hooked up with? Fresno's not so far away." Seth said with interest.  
  
"Yeah…no. Listen, I'm really tired." Ryan replied.   
  
"Okay, yeah. I mean you've had a rough day and everything. I'll see you tomorrow." Seth sauntered out, still wearing a slightly dazed expression.  
  
Ryan stood up as well. He waited until Seth had gone inside, fetched his smokes and walked to the back of the pool house, which was hidden from view. Ryan sat down and lit his cigarette, breathing in the sweet aroma. He didn't feel the least bit guilty about lying to Seth about Anna. The last thing he needed was Seth's big mouth interfering, especially when there was a good chance he might run into Anna. Oh, well. Yet another bridge he'd have to cross when he got to it. So what was next for Ryan Atwood, screw-up extraordinaire? By the looks of things it would be another round in Newport Beach. He could think of worse things. But Ryan had a feeling that in the days to come he would seriously question that statement.  
  
THE END  
  
Hey, it's finally over! Yes, it was quite the saga and now it's done. Will there be more? Will Ryan and Anna meet? A question for the ages. Thanks for sticking it out with me!  
  
MacKynzie 


End file.
